Clock strikes. It seems that it just happened yesterday, and it seems that fate wants Lheana to regret the decision that she made on that day.
That was the time when she thought to give up and stop already. It is because of the things that she took into considerations and she knows deep inside her, there is someone saying that the things that she has done and been through is enough. All things are already in set, except for the acceptance of that person. Several days before the day she decided to bid her farewell, “he” talked to her and said things that she already know but somehow “he” made her think twice. She firmly stand on her decision and her resolved won’t be changed. However, on that span of time before the “last day”, there were problems that happened which she really don’t have control to. It involved the people who are really dear to her, and that’s when her decision was shaken. All the conditions are against those people and it leave her no choice but to stay for them. It is because she can’t afford to leave them in that state. On the last-minute, she decided to call off her resolutions.
Of course, it is natural that her stay would have some equivalent exchange. The truth is she somehow enjoyed getting things her way and having her requests granted. She would be lying if she says that she don’t feel too confident about those time. But she forgot to remind herself that time would also come that it will have a weight; sooner or later. It is so childish of her to think that everything would stay and destiny would always be in favor of her.
As the time stands now, her situation can be compared on having a nightmare. A nightmare that continually shows her what are her shortcomings, her flaws, her state of being useless… continuously giving her a feeling that she is just a puppet and worthless…
It is natural that even going through a bad dream, she always tried to pull herself and get it together because she knows that there are people who relies on her and still believes on her capabilities even though she committed so much mistakes… but the reality would mock her and slap her that she is incapable of doing the things that she intends to do.
It ends up that the thought she has that she is the one protecting her treasure is a mistake. It is the other way around. It really pains her that the only solution that she has on her sleeves right now is to continue the farewell she once planned. A very painful stab in her heart that will surely leave a scar that will always remain.
A farewell that is soon to come… just waiting for all the conditions to be met… just waiting for the bucket to be overflowed… just waiting for herself to be devoured by the reality that no matter what kind of ideas, strategies and things that she will thought of; it won’t work… just waiting for the time that she would hit the “restart” button.
The only things that she can say right now are “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” to the people that she bothered with her emotions…
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