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Corner to Nowhere

It is my corner that leads to nowhere.

Month

December 2015

For My Papa Bear

December 23, 2015

 

Today is your last day… OMG! No, don’t go to the light! Just kidding! Last day in our work. Time flies so fast. It seems that the 2 months that you render for your resignation just flew by and seems like, for me, to be just 2.3456789 days. Hahahahahaha!

 

With all honesty, I’m gonna miss you. Of course, there will no one who will feed me when I’m hungry. Anyways, there are a lot of moments that I will surely miss and will always remember.

 

First of all, I want to say thank you. That’s it! Hahahaha.. Just kidding…

 

Confidant. Thank you for always listening to my roller coaster whining and problems. For always hearing me out even if sometimes I’m like a stupid child who just say whatever I want to say when I complain. Though at times, we both have similar complains. For always being someone who’s ready to listen even I don’t want to speak; you’ll still make me feel that I can count on you. Thank you so much for keeping(?) my moaning confidential.

 

Supporter. Someone who always support me whenever I feel down and depressed. After Papple, left the company more than a year ago, you’ve been the one who become my back-up. You always make me feel that I should have confidence in myself and the decisions that I will make. You always side with me, though at times I’m irrational. You support my jokes and trippings in our office. Hahahahaha…

 

Father. Can I say this? Hahahahaha.. You’re Papa Bear, Sir Jensen is Papa Boar. When Papa Boar went to abroad, he didn’t even give us monetary support. He abandoned us! Hahahahaha! You adopted and welcomed us in your family. Sometimes, I see Papa Boar in you because you are the same size and weight, I think. You look out for us, become our shield (because you are big enough to do so) when bats are coming forth, always concern in our wellbeing, supply us with foods and coffee which Papa Boar didn’t do. Anyways, in this part I’m also teasing Papa Boar. Don’t worry, it is not quite obvious. Hahahahaha! Thank you for allowing me to act as your little mischievous adopted hija.

 

Friend. You’re a person who doesn’t get offended even how much I tease and joke on you. Someone who understands me in my mood swings and just always gives me food to shut me up. You are the one, you already!

 

As a whole, I would like to thank you for everything that you’ve done not only to me but also to my “siblings”. You’ve helped us so much. It would be impossible for me to enumerate how much I owe you. I hope that on the next chapter of your life, you will be successful; of course, I know you will be. Stay in touch, ok?

 

P.S. Can the supply of foods still continue even if you are already not in the office? Hahahahahaha!

My Day and Night

With all actuality, I’ve been noticing that the sky, whenever I left our home, looks the same when I returned from work.

 

If you had read my previous blog about the “Epic Fail Alarm”, you already know that I woke up so early; take note that I only need an hour to prepare myself before leaving our home. The time that I need to report in our office is 8:45 am, though due to the place where I live… I have to allocate an allowance in order for me not to be late, not to mention that it is also due to the enormous traffic, so I guess you already have an idea how far my place is to my work.

 

You’re correct if you are thinking that I’m a bit lacking in sleep. During my transit, I sleep so that even just few minutes I can still have some power nap. When I reach our office, I also try to nap because most of the time, I arrive an hour early before our office hours. You might think that I should extend my sleep in our home so that I can have a complete rest; but I’m telling you, it would make my morning irritating. Just as I have mentioned, the enemy that I have is traffic so I can’t tell if I leave our home even just 10 minutes later than the usual time, I won’t be late. I already experienced leaving at my normal time but still, I reach our office 30 minutes after the reporting time. I really dislike being late so it will just affect my whole day whenever I’m late.

 

I can get see the sun and feel its presence during our lunch breaks because we eat outside our office. That is the time that I can savor its warm, though sometimes it is so agitating because it hurts the skin.

 

Sometimes, I encounter being sleepy during working. But as our policy states, it is not allowed to do so. I’ll just get a cup of coffee in believing that I’ll wake me up or if luckily, eat chocolates. Playing dance music can also make the sleepiness go away.

 

Finishing the day in our office would be around 6:00 PM, so there won’t be any sun when we leave the vicinity. It is also because we still spent some minutes in our office before going home. With all the exhaustion that we have for that day, of course, we feel sleepier. If you will ask, I’ll reach our home, if it is the usual time it will be around 8:30 PM, if unlucky I’ll be home at 10:00 PM. Moreover, when I’m already there the only thing that I’ll do is to lie in my bed, pray and sleep.

 

So, whenever it is Sunday… I do sleep so much to regain what I lost during Mondays to Saturdays.

 

P.S. That’s also one of the reasons why I don’t have much time to write in my blog.

REOPENED PATH

While I am writing this, it is currently raining. Due to the weather, I recalled the time when I had an ambition that was not fulfilled and achieved.

 

I can’t exactly remember if it is before or during my first year high school that I started a somehow unique habit. The thing that is very clear and vivid in my memory is the weather on that day, it was raining. It just came on me, I think it is due to so much admiration that I have for Anime, the feeling to write stories from my imagination and/or something that is based on my own experiences. I think everyone knows that during high school days, it is frequently asked what we want to be in the future. During those times, I was certain and already believed that in the next years I will be a WRITER, more specifically a script writer.

 

In the entire time of my high school, I focused on developing that skill. I also joined the Journalism Club to gain more knowledge and I’m glad that I did, though it is really not my forte to write news. I can still remember that one of my articles for Literature was published in our school newspaper and our professor complimented me for that. At home after doing my home works (if I won’t watch Anime), I will write stories. I wrote several stories and I even had a notebook wherein all my concepts or ideas are written. I am really so pumped up to do this every now and then. The fulfillment that I have every time I write and finish a story is something so precious to me. My whole world revolved in writing and Anime on those times.

 

When I already reached the last year of my high school, I am decided that I will take Mass Communication and/or Creative Writing. In every university that I applied for, those are my chosen field or career. Though at first, my parents didn’t agree on me in choosing those courses, I eventually persuaded them to allow me to take either of the two.

 

I thought everything will go smoothly and I will soon achieve my dream but it seems that destiny didn’t allowed it. I didn’t pass in the university that I’m confident to pass. It made feel broken and sad. Of course, I had no choice, I want to go to college so I just randomly chose any course because I don’t care anymore, and I just want to study. After being accepted in an Institute (they don’t offer the course that I want) and pay all the necessary tuition fees, a news arrived. News saying that I do passed the university that I thought I failed. However, I won’t be able to take it because I am already accepted in a different school. I know that others might say that I should have grabbed it if I really want to take Mass Communication, but I don’t want the money of my parents go to waste because if I will back out on the institute that I enrolled, the money won’t be returned anymore. I just told myself that the reason why this happened is because God has a better plan for me.

 

During my first two years in college, I didn’t write anything anymore. I just focused on studying. After a certain hurtful incident, I started to write again because I used it as an outlet of my emotions. But afterwards, I stopped again because it reminded me of the time that I wasn’t able to be someone that I want to be.

 

One time, I just spoke about this matter on a special and dear friend of mine. She told me that I can still pursue my dream. I made me feel that I should do so.

 

Now that I’m currently working and it is related to the course that I took in College. I realized that I can start writing again and that’s why I have this blog right now. I’m so happy that I’m able to reopen this path.

I’m just beautiful me

Every girl must always feel beautiful and have the self confidence to walk on the ramp of this never ending show.

With all honesty, I seldom think that I’m pretty; though I joke about it sometimes but it doesn’t really mean that I do think so. I always think that I just don’t have what it takes to have the label “beautiful”.

I love wearing different kinds of clothes from boyish to very feminine ones. Having the feel of being a model though I’m really not. It just that it really feels nice when you can dress to express yourself. Wearing slippers to high heels, it is exciting to mix and match not only the dress and shoes but also to align it based on my mood.

At times, I also do some makeup on myself… Just simple touches… But, when a very dear friend of mine tried to put some more… It turned out so great that I can say with all confidence that I’m beautiful without adding the word “joke” at the end of my sentence. You know that kind of feeling that you’re star struck to yourself? It feels like “Oh! My Gosh!” Taking selfies here and there to have a remembrance of that moment. It is so amazing!

Of course at the end of the day, after removing those make up… I feel like I become Cinderella who just got home after the party. Though I don’t have a prince coming to me the next day.

I do love myself but it doesn’t mean that I always favor my side. After experiencing such great moment, I can always say that I might not have a very pretty face but I’m just beautiful me.

Epic Fail Alarm

Every night, I set my alarm around 4:00 am in the morning. 4:10 am, 4:20 am and 4:30 am are the times that I set it. I’ll get up from my bed on my last alarm. However, there was a time when it didn’t happen.

I have this habit of waking up a minute before my alarm rings; one morning, I turned off my alarm for 4:20 am as soon as it rings. Of course, I know that I still have 10 more minutes left for my last alarm. I slept for few more minutes and when I suddenly felt that I have to take a shower, I grabbed my phone and checked what time it is… with a BIG SHOCK, it was already 4:45 am! That kind of feeling when you become so awake and because of the fact that I’m the type who dislikes being late, I moved x2 than the usual. With a bit of luck and the “Flash” moves, I didn’t arrive late on my work place. And take note, I still had a spare time to eat another set of breakfast on my way.

 

With so much things and works on my hand on that day, I didn’t had a chance to even have a “pause”. It was somehow like its coming one after another. It was so overwhelming because you haven’t started the next task then here comes two more! Time run so fast, online selling on my desktop and social networking sites on my personal phone (note: those are my main workloads). Without realizing what’s happening around me and just focusing on my work; my phone suddenly alarmed! It was the alarm that was supposedly set on 4:30 am not on 4:30 pm! Luckily, nobody noticed it, and I was like smiling all by myself because of that silly mistake that I did.

 

Oh well… that alarm was kind a helpful cause it made a pause on that busy day. This time, I’ll just make sure to properly set my alarm.

The Hairstylist

We all know that the hair of a woman is her crowning glory. It is really fascinating for the fact that it can have a lot of styles depending on one’s personality… and one of those is having different braids for it.

 

When I was young, my mother used to do my hairstyles. Everyday has a different hairstyle. I was really fond of the things that she did on my hair. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn how to style my hair the way she did… I can just do ponytails. So, I guess my hair is kind a sad because it wasn’t styled for so long.

 

There is this someone that goes by the name Aileen Antonio. At first, we were not that really close because we come from different departments. One time, I saw her doing a hairstyle for one of our workmate. I was really captivated on how she did the braid. It was like having stars on my eyes and the words “I also want that!” keeps on pooping in my mind. One time, I tried to ask her to do my hair… and luckily she agreed to do so. While she was doing it, it felt like a magic is being cast on me. Without even realizing it, it was already finished. She is so amazing; she can make you have not only a beautiful hairdo but as well as feeling confident about yourself.

 

At the present, I keep on asking her to do my hair. She never turned me down and it is something that I’m grateful to her. The magic on her hands keeps on getting better. Ooohhh~~~ I love her so much… to the extent that I’m already calling her “Morning Best friend”, for the reason that she styles my hair every morning.

 

Take note, if you will be able to have the chance to have your hair done by her… I assure you, that somehow, you will get the feeling that you will be attending a wedding.

 

This is also one of the things that I love when I have my hair on braids, the after effects of it on my hair. It became curly!

 

To Aileen, your talent to make other people feel happy and beautiful… it is one of your best qualities. No wonder God gave you such talent; he knows that it won’t go to waste. Thank you for always putting up a beautiful hairstyle for me!

 

The Unappreciated and the Highlighted

Have you ever been in a situation wherein whatever you do, how hard you try your best and how much effort you give; it is still not enough and lacks in different aspects? On the other hand, committing a mistake, even how small and little, it creates an uproar?

 

Many might experience or suffer from being UNAPPRECIATED. You know the fact that doing everything you think that can make a certain scenario better, adjusting to things to make the unsteady into stable, accepting every word that are being thrown at you even though it doesn’t have a basis and pushing yourself to reach others “standards”; yet, it doesn’t matter at all. One more thing, even though you feel you accomplished something and be proud of it… suddenly a meteor will come crashing to you and make you realize that it is not worthy at all. Another? It is when you pour all of your efforts and dedication but the answer to it would be: “It is nothing compared to us!” Just want to ask… is there a rating in order for them to determine what is enough to be accepted as “Effort and Dedication”? Does being “physically” exhausted harder than being “mentally” tired? Does the location matters in terms of saying which one is giving “more”? Lastly, are those beauties in the shadows nothing compared to the ones in the spotlight?

 

In my own opinion, one of the things that causes the feeling of being unappreciated is C-O-M-P-A-R-I-S-O-N. I think it is quite obvious on this blog because of the questions I’ve written down on the previous paragraph. I hope that people can have the thinking that everyone is just like a puzzle piece: has a PLACE and VALUE.

 

The Highlighted. I guess everyone have committed a mistake and repent on it. I think there is no one who loves making a wrong “move” or decision, right? These are instances wherein you will be in between of two colliding walls. It just so happened that you will be caught in it, even though you explain your side, they will listen but not to respond rather it is for them to react. And worse, you’re really not the liable one for it. However, listening to their hurtful words and how does it make you feel after they say whatever they want to say just because you did the “wrong”… It can’t be reverted anymore. The funny part is, you won’t hear an apology for it and still, it is your fault.

 

When does right become wrong? It is when it favors them.

When does wrong become right? It is when it doesn’t favor them.

 

The world is full of trickery. When A committed a mistake, it is a sin and unforgivable. On the other hand, when B did the same, it is only natural and forgivable. Funny. Funny. Funny. Very. Very. Very.

 

I think there are some who are already saying “Can I throw the towel now? I am already beaten to the maximum extent.” It will be nice if when you are already having too much, a ringside bell will ring, so that you can take a break and relax before you continue on the next round. In this world, each individual has a morale that should not be stepped by anyone who doesn’t even know how to respect. Treatment may vary per person; however it must always be fair.

 

Life is about endurance and patience. You are the only one that can decide whether it is time to stop and proceed on a different path. Just always ask for God’s guidance and you will never be lost even if you don’t know where you are going because the Almighty sees what to appreciate on those “unappreciated” and “highlighted” the feeling of being sorry and the repentance for our mistakes.

To my “Sister”… Here and there…

Time flies so fast. I didn’t even realized that it’s been so long since I’ve been with you… but don’t worry, you’re always here in my heart… I really don’t know how should I put all my admiration and feelings for you thru words… as of this moment, I do really want to give you a super tight hug… so, here is my message for you…

 

Intelligence. A woman who possesses knowledge and it can’t be denied by anyone else. If there will be someone, I’ll punch them in their face. Since we were little, I do look up to you. Tried to imitate how you do things because I’m so amazed on how all those information are inside your brain. Moreover, I didn’t heard you boosting about this and still crave for more understanding. I’m so proud that I have such an amazing cousin. You’ll always be the number 1 for me.

 

Beauty and wit. Don’t have to emphasize on this. It’s so obvious and only in denial ones would say no to this. Beauty not only in the outside but as well as in the inside. A beauty that charms lot of people.

 

I think if I will lay down every characteristics that you have that I love, it will be endless. You’re such an amazing individual. Even when we were little, though the fact that I don’t have a sister, it is still clear to me how you treated me as your little sister. You’re concerned to me and always look out for me. You do really make me feel that I do have an older sister. All the advice and things that you’d helped me through, those might not have meanings to you but for me, those are priceless. The way you express your confidence in me, it is one of the things that make me so blessed.

 

Now, there is a lucky guy who will have you for the rest of his life. He is so blessed because you are the total package. I hope that he will treasure you and love you so much.

 

As you walk down the aisle today, I might not be there to witness that special event on your life. However, I know that you are so beautiful and filled with happiness. I do really wish to God to shower the new chapter of your life with lots of blessings. I’m so happy and proud of you.

 

Always remember that we might be apart, but I will always be with you. I love you so much!

 

Best wishes, Couz Karen!

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