With having lots of mixed emotions in my heart, I came across the blog of Cloris Kylie Stock about “How to know when it’s time to give up”. As I read it, I realized a lot of things. That’s why I decided to get his/her pointers on this blog.
Your quest to solve a problem takes over all other aspects of your life.
“That” certain aspect of my life almost affects all of my living process. I don’t know when it started at all. It seems that it became the center of my life. Whenever I feel depressed about it, which will be my mood for the entire day; most of the time, I am craving for appreciation on it and I have the tendency not to appreciate the other things that is presented to me. All of the things that are happening on me that is related to it do really affect my whole life and seems that it is really damaging not only my health but as well as my life.
You aren’t able to visualize a positive outcome.
In reality, I am really an optimistic individual. I always do things with enthusiasm. But, as I currently stand… I always have the FEAR that whatever I do, it will always FAIL. Even how much I do my best, it is still not enough. I can’t even see myself being successful in anything that I will do concerning this matter. I already feel like a loser and a walking bomb, a burden to everyone.
You start to feel poorly about yourself.
As a result of being there, I ended up being depressed, having low self-esteem and self-confidence which is not my personality before. I am the type of individual who always like taking risks but now? I can’t even say that I believe in myself the way I say it before. I almost come to a point wherein I already hate myself.
When you wake up in the morning, your first thought is to give up.
Every now and then, I ask myself if it still worth fighting for or not. The energetic me became someone who is a scaredy cat. Wanting to scream and say “Come and save me from this place!”
By analyzing my thoughts right now, I just hold onto God that he has a reason why I’m going through this. I just need to continue learning from this and stay to be myself. Even how many tears I shed, how much emotional pain I feel, how many times I feel like a knife is stabbing me, how nerve wrecking events will be and how many times I feel depressed; those people won’t realize and care what my current standing is because they only need me because they don’t have any replacement for now. But once they are done with me, I will be just a piece of crap that did nothing for them. So why bother now, right? I will just be happy and do the things that can make me feel that I have a purpose. So, I’m giving up on it. I did my best and I don’t have any regrets. I’ll just let God to handle the rest.
No matter how good you treat others, it doesn’t mean that they will also be like that to you. People vary.
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